One day and a few hours left! 

From: Mounting Excitement
Date: 01 Nov 2006
Time: 11:27:46 -0000
Remote Name: Lorne
I am just in, coughing like Kate Moss and looking like her boyfriend but I'm sure I'll scrub up for Friday!!

How is going over there this morning? xx

From: The Ginger Prince
Date: 01 Nov 2006
Time: 12:08:05 -0000
Remote Name: Justine

What's "doing a Martin" then? Satan? I can hardly wait xx

Re: Doing a Martin 

From: Colder Hands
Date: 01 Nov 2006
Time: 12:31:13 -0000
Remote Name: Lorne

By the way, I can't save my doing a Martin picture of Windy - just as well really. xx

Doing a Martin

From: Cold Hands
Date: 01 Nov 2006
Time: 12:29:56 -0000
Remote Name: Lorne
Doing a Martin refers to a evening he had in front of the TV with Diane. They were watching a programme with a woman in it who Martin must have taken a fancy to because he forgot who he was watching the TV with and let out a passionate moan when she next walked into the shot. Diane was not best pleased!! But then again she never is!! Satan is tale that I shall keep until I see you!! x

Re: Doing a Martin 

From:
Date: 01 Nov 2006
Time: 12:56:12 -0000
Remote Name: Justine

How embarrassing, who was the actress I wonder to elicit such a response? i have a really stiff neck today, making me walk funny, tension perhaps? Just been told they are renegotiating my job to take on the role of a woman going on maternity leave, which means more money, a new job title and possibly a 12 month or more extension in the pipe line, all being talked about at the moment so sounds like good news xx

The Local

From: Landlord of the Rings
Date: 01 Nov 2006
Time: 13:08:08 -0000
Remote Name: Justine
Just e mailed you details of Le Fumoir round the corner from the Louvre, sounds like our kind of place n'est ce pas? xx

Want to see something bright? 

From: Jeebers
Date: 01 Nov 2006
Time: 14:52:49 -0000
Remote Name: Justine
Christ that's a bright table cloth, and it looks like another dungeon like breakfats room. Who cares if they have a coffee machine like our first hotel. Shall have a snoop at our hotel in more detail in a bit xx

Final Countdown

From: Dirty Sanchez
Date: 02 Nov 2006
Time: 12:51:35 -0000
Remote Name: Lorne
I am just waiting for the off now! Aeryn is back in hospital to be monitored whilst she tries to get rid of her catarrh and Mom now reckons she doesn't feel as good as she did, she still has no voice to speak of but still, it's the same old shite before I go away this year as any other year. I am tied to this place all the time, I told Dan yesterday that I feel trapped by my life even when I'm on hoilday and I think he actually took some notice of me for a change and offered to look after Mom this weekend.

Anyway, enough of this self pitying bollocks, I have managed to get a copy of that photo of Windy that made me do a Martin and have it displayed. I can't get anymore of Leo in the Departed, not without joining web sites as a Leo fan member and I'm not prepared to do that! There's none of this to get WM photos, he's really easy to get piccies of. Any other films he's been in you could settle for? How about the Aviator? That was a good film and he was very good in it.

So what have you been in Ludlow for? x

Re: Final Countdown

From: Hello John got a new motor?
Date: 02 Nov 2006
Time: 13:26:30 -0000
Remote Name: Justine
Back from lovely Ludlow. I was following a Maths Trail that we have devised for school kids to see if it worked, how long it took etc, plus got to have a blast in me new motor, brilliant!!!! The saddest part of today will be putting the pig into kennels, thank goodness we had a chance to have a nice walk together this morning. It's a shame your mum and Aeryn are not so good, but surely Mark and Nic can cope for 4 days? Not sure why Dan needs to get roped in as a Lorne sub. That's what comes of being capo di capo (can't do the accent) K is off to Prague with his fave bro this weekend which I am really pleased about, though there will be some low level pining. Best do wome work now I am here, and check how long there is to go!! xx

Christening?

From: What Christening?
Date: 02 Nov 2006
Time: 14:13:24 -0000
Remote Name: Lorne
Ah yes, the Christening call as we were enjoying the sunshine on the banks of the Seine. A Christening slash Blessing that STILL HAS NOT HAPPENED!! I rest my case your honour.

I am not packing until late because of the crease factor. I will up fairly late watching the Sopranos so may have nap beforehand to ensure I am bright eyed and bushy tailed for our start. Shall we say 4 at yours then? I hope you feel a little bit better than last year! x

Oi! Churchill!

From: Nice drop of lager this...
Date: 07 Nov 2006
Time: 13:00:40 -0000
Remote Name: Lorne

I don't know what time you will make it in but I am snowed under with crap here - by crap I mean actual work. It aint getting done because I have found the episode of PB that was on in the US yesterday on YouTube and I am busy watching that, although I keep getting disturbed with questions about work and stuff, don't these people know that it's the reunion of the doc and Michael in this episode? Although she doesn't look like she's gonna forgive him, and there he is sitting on a bed as well - silly girl!

So when I have stopped shaking my head in disbelief and drooling I shall get round to the next most important part of the day which is to start work on our website obviously. How are you dong today? Did you manage to get up OK and how was your reunion with E? xx

Re: Oi! Churchill!

From: Oohhhh yes
Date: 07 Nov 2006
Time: 13:35:43 -0000
Remote Name: Justine

Got her 30 minutes ago and luckliy not to much crap to contend with just odds and ends and settling in. I am eating lunch and reading my e mails at the moment. i am going to shoot off at 4 as I have to go to the bank and will use it as an excuse to leave work early, mainly so I can shop before collecting E, otherwise will have to drag her round with me and have promised her a treat tonight. Lovely reunion, but barely saw her before bed so want to spend some time and see what she has been up to, and more importantly what D and K have been up to as she mentioned they were rowing again (as in having a row/fight, not in the boating sense!) Chelsea is also Ok if a little slimmer and apparently was very well behaved in kennels (no surprise) she came straight in and went to her food bowl and then spent the rest of the night flat out on her settee, I am guessing the kennels are a bit hard and cold at Hatton! xx

Trust Me

From: Magneto
Date: 07 Nov 2006
Time: 15:01:19 -0000
Remote Name: Lorne

I am just back from Moms and desperate to start on our memories but still have some other motherfucking shit to do! I put my two swearing outbursts in the Why We Must Stop The Swearing book last night and Dan had a chuckle at his badge. Not much to report from Shifnal except the fireworks were terrible on Friday apparently. I have so many ideas to put on our site that I'm scared if I don't get cracking soon I'll forget them! I see a late night ahead, not least to give PB another watch whilst not getting bothered.

So, next countdown will be for Barmouth! x

House of Biscuits

From: Churchill
Date: 08 Nov 2006
Time: 11:23:36 -0000
Remote Name: Justine
I am sat here eating a french biscuit and have realised we only had one cup of coffee out in Paris, every other drink was alcoholic! One of the bosses has just been telling me how she lived in Paris for 2 years working as a geo-physicist - and she ends up on Halesfield! What's all that about? Took a wrong career move there somewhere! I have decided this is the company where everyone used to have a better job than they do now. It is really quiet in the office today so i am sat here daydreaming mostly, really ought to crack on but everyone keeps coming and asking me about Paris, ahh if only they knew eh? xx

Dunnocks 

From: Sexy Motherf*cker
Date: 08 Nov 2006
Time: 11:54:48 -0000
Remote Name: Justine

I have just recalled the Dunnock conversation! And what a shame we had no MTV as Sexyback would definitely have been on Now that's what I call Paris Churchill and Magneto mix 06. foggy in Paris today I see, we definitely had the best of the weather. xx

The things you hear

From: Petit Prince
Date: 08 Nov 2006
Time: 12:58:49 -0000
Remote Name: Lorne

Phrases that shouldn't be heard:

"Do you want a hand?" - said to a one armed man by his wife as he entered the changing room before his MRI

Phrases in regular use:

"Good old Wentworth, he's a legend aint he" - said with alarming regularity post sex by Dan

Message thread on a message board I daren't post a reply to:

"Has Wentworth Miller ruined your real life relationship?"

I too was remembering the Dunnock sex conversation last night! Little bits of Paris keep coming back and making me giggle. But that is all the reason I need to get Sexyback on download! TRhink of some more songs that are appropriate and I will burn us a CD. xx

Big Nez

From: One of the Oiseaux
Date: 08 Nov 2006
Time: 15:05:41 -0000
Remote Name: Lorne

All the Ginola photos I found were pretty awful, and as you said you were partial to a large French snout I chose that one!

I have just booked a hotel for Gatwick and got Dan some holiday insurance, I'm just not thinking about the money. Did you get any details from Eleanor about Darren & Kellys rows? Bet she was glad when she was at your mom and dads.

When you said a French biscuit were you referring to the caramel ones we took from the Eurostar? One of those would go dow3n nicely here about now...x

Re: Big Nez

From: Twocked
Date: 08 Nov 2006
Time: 15:55:38 -0000
Remote Name: Justine

I shall have a nose for a few pics and send them to you. I had forgotten CCT, that's the trouble, we should have a tape recorder with us, I wonder what people think when they over hear us talking? I like your metal coaster too and that reminds me, wonder if you can buy them over the internet? E has been a real sweetie since I got back and lit the fire and vaccuumed the house last night, then I was grumpy and ended up shouting cos I could not get her in bed before 9. Bad mummy, sorted now, she has agreed to an early night as long as she gets extra bedtime stories. Not heard any more of the K and D row, and do not want to probe, it will come out in the wash as these things invariably do xx p.s yes a caramel biscuit, I gave the other one to Peter my room mate at work and most appreciative he was too

I've never had a nickname before
From: churchill
Date: 08 Nov 2006
Time: 15:44:17 -0000
Remote Name: Justine

I can see you now busy at work on the website, can't wait to read it. I don't think I can cope with 12 months before we go to Paris again, like you say we need to organise more time away, it has been lacking this year because of the races we have missed, ooh get her, WE have missed, who was doing the running? Bad dog, in your bed xx

Churchill, heel!

From: Magneto - I love my metal coaster, me
Date: 08 Nov 2006
Time: 15:49:49 -0000
Remote Name: Lorne
Yes, we have been lacking on the trip front this year. I shall enter the Reading half marathon today, if I can squeeze in some time between drooling over Windy (such a let down on the kissing front, I can tell thee) and doing the Paris pages. And shall we say we'll definitely go to Wales for a night when I get back from Italia? That's something to look forward to before Christmas as well.

I remembered the low cottage cheese tolerance as well yesterday when I was watching PB on YouTube, Michael said he "had a high tolerance for pain" and I thought " I bet you have a low tolerance for cottage cheese though mate".

How is the swearing? Back to pre-Lorne levels I hope? xx

Back in the running 

From: Motherf**er Half Marathon ahead
Date: 08 Nov 2006
Time: 16:17:16 -0000
Remote Name: Lorne
I am entered in Reading and so let the training commence. I tell you where you can get those metal coasters from - Paris, you can lift them out of cafes if you're lively.

So far for Paris I have this list:

Chuffs and guns (!)

CCT

Tat Express

F**ed up s**t hombre

Cafe Kleber ousts the Malakoff

Kinky Dunnock Sex

Motherf**ing Louvre

Hobos watching football whilst we dine on the finest green beans known to man

Shushing nun

False nails "I blame Geraldine for this"

Anymore to add to that list? I'm sure you have!! xx

Re: Back in the running

From: Coaster to coast
Date: 08 Nov 2006
Time: 16:46:24 -0000
Remote Name: Justine
Can't find those coasters anywhere: The Metro Monkey The bag that money cannot buy changing socks at the top of the funiculaire the mafia bosses and the strippers arriving at chez ma cousin I ain't gay, in the pink shoe room at the pompidou that VC artists pic of a gun (surely an album cover if we can remember her name) Me never having my sunglasses at the right time blister plasters and what were we giggling about when we left Chez ma Cousin?

Have to go now, catch you tomorrow xx

Are you there Churchill
From: Sexyback plastic
Date: 09 Nov 2006
Time: 11:50:53 -0000
Remote Name:Lorne
I am here and beavering away on the Paris memories. I can't remember what we were giggling about when we left Chez Ma Cousine but I remember looking at that board of singer's headshots and picking out our favourite and not so favourite. I remember I was getting a cold back from the door and those English girls were irritating me so it could be related to that. xx

Re: Are you there Churchill?

From: ooohh yes
Date: 09 Nov 2006
Time: 11:56:27 -0000
Remote Name: Justine
Aaah yes, your  about your hairy arse, and that girl with the loud voice talking about drama school whilst they all drank water. Told Kev about our nicknames last night, to which his response was, she gets to be a master villain and you are a nodding dog? I said I had never had a nickname before and was happy to be Churchill! I think he felt sorry for me. xx

Churchill 

From: is not a happy puppy
Date: 09 Nov 2006
Time: 11:53:34 -0000
Remote Name: Justine
Good morning Magento, very much enjoyed your film last night though I missed the end. Have had one fucked up morning, first E did not want to go to school (again) despite early night etc and me trying not to shout she always engineers an argument, so then I am late for work and go up Lincoln Hill as a short cut and some stupid twat has managed to run herself off the road so about 6 of us behind her had to do 3 point turns, well I say 3 more like 7, and then I am really late, then I get to work and all the Imprest I had done yesterday i have not saved so i have to do it all again! The good news is my motherfucking langauge is back to pre-Paris levels!! So how are you today? I am out after lunch to the bank, dropping cross country gear off for E and buying wine, should have bought some booze back from France I tell thee xx

Magneto

From: has extra magnetic power after her MRI
Date: 09 Nov 2006
Time: 12:07:40 -0000
Remote Name:Lorne
I am sorry to hear about this turn of events with Eleanor, all this and she's not even hormonal yet. I presume this is something that has only started this year so you have to wonder if it's the motherf**king teacher. I have had a very slow morning but that just me being too depressed to get out of bed and once I've been running I have to shower etc and end up getting later and later. You only have to ask if you ever need any shopping etc. I go practically every other day in the morning to the Asda.

I couldn't access the David Ginola picture, can you send me the picture itself?

On a different note, Dan's mate Fenney took his girl Wendy to dinner at Bicker's (one of their mutual friends) and Wendy thought Bicker's wife was his mom and said as much!! xx

Re: Magneto

From: Sweep's girlfriend
Date: 09 Nov 2006
Time: 12:18:16 -0000
Remote Name: Justine

Now that is embarrassing. I think K was referring to something similiar last night when he was wondering aloud what people thought of us a s a couple. Personally I could not give a shit, and nore could he but I wonder if someone has said something to him? xx

Master Criminal

From: vs Nodding Dog
Date: 09 Nov 2006
Time: 12:11:14 -0000
Remote Name:Lorne
I think another way to look at it is Magneto is an old man who you have to hide your loose change from and Churchill is a lovable cute dog who everyone wants to pet!

Anyway, I fell asleep during my film and missed a bit, then I went to bed at the break. It wasn't my finest hour, the first was the best.

I can't remember what I was saying about my hairy arse but I presume thongs came into it somewhere and I would hope that it remains between the two of us!! xx

Re: Master Criminal

From: Miss Confidential
Date: 09 Nov 2006
Time: 12:19:49 -0000
Remote Name: Justine
Confidentiality is the key word with us, it just made me laugh when you said it needed shaving!! Another subject was that woman your mentor and dan think you look like, can't recall her name, she needs to be on the saite though xx

Come on in

From: and have a little talk with the boss
Date: 09 Nov 2006
Time: 14:45:41 -0000
Remote Name: Justine
Boss has called me in, careers talk ahead, back asap, loving the second pic of Leo by the way and as for David, phwoarr!! xx

My pleasure

From: Can't get any work done
Date: 09 Nov 2006
Time: 14:52:25 -0000
Remote Name:Lorne
It's a pleasure to make your day go by with something nice to look at but I must admit that I am having difficulty working here now. I have so many pictures of Windy on my hard drive now it's extremely hard to concentrate on anything. Every time I open a folder I find another one hidden away. To collect them all in one folder would probably cause a whole week to be lost! With this and YouTube to watch as well I am finding it difficult to even pretend I'm working.

Anyway, I am getting on with the Paris stuf whilst having a Windy break. xx

Oi! Windy! How about...

From: a cuddle for your little friend Lorne?
Date: 10 Nov 2006
Time: 10:25:58 -0000
Remote Name: Lorne

Sounds like a tight squeeze in bed last night. The Sopranos was very good, Carm and her mate Ro were in Paris! They went to St Eustace and Carm took a photo of that pig's trotter restaurant. I started yakking about Paris and annoying Dan.

I have put your Leo photo up next to my current Martin moment WM photo. I see Windy is growing his hair so Dan will be able to save some money on barbers' fees he'll be pleased to know.

Have you found any jobs? xx

Re: Oi! Windy! How about...

From: a picture of your dad
Date: 10 Nov 2006
Time: 11:13:48 -0000
Remote Name: Justine
There is one as an education welfare officer, part time 3.5 days but at 17,000, one with a learning support centre based in the ice rinks and AFC Telford, and one as a Cover supervisor (like a classroom assistant) at Ab Dab, term time only 27.5 hours at my current wage, so we shall see. Strange how I like the Leop pics when he has bags under his eyes, a fondness for bit of rough I guess. xx

Re: Oi! Windy! How about...

From: warming my feet up in bed
Date: 10 Nov 2006
Time: 12:17:47 -0000
Remote Name: Lorne

Jeebers I'm cold. I've just bought a manual stacker from the world's coldest warehouse, Bob remarked that he expected to see carcasses hanging from the ceiling.

That picture of Leo has him staring very hard, maybe you like that strong 'don't mess me' look that I have tried very hard to perfect over the years, culminating in the man repeller you see today!

Glad there are some job choices to focus on, remember access to a computer is essential! xx

From Art to Mechanics 

From: I can see the connection!
Date: 10 Nov 2006
Time: 12:28:26 -0000
Remote Name: Lorne

Well, here you go then! I have a counselling skills for nurses book if you'd like to borrow it at any time, I think he should change, the world needs mechanics more than bleedin' artists! You can tell him that from Magneto! x

Re: From Art to Mechanics

From: Family connections
Date: 10 Nov 2006
Time: 12:34:33 -0000
Remote Name: Justine
 

Is Manuel Stacker the cousin of Manuel Forklift? Yes as I used to teach on the course I am rather of the opinion it is up it's own arse art wise, neither use nor ornament, especially if the head of dept is the same guy that taught me all those years ago, should be able to get some gossip! Any counselling books gratefully accepted, and thanks for that cable, though have not checked it yet it has to be said xx

Back on the Tube

From: Mesmerised
Date: 10 Nov 2006
Time: 12:51:20 -0000
Remote Name: Lorne

I am now straying back to YouTube. I have found an interview with Windy, boy does he like to talk with his hands and what lovely hands they are too, very long fingers. Freakishly long fingers actually, and arms. I've got to get broadband at home!

Yes, Manuel Stacker is a cousin of Manuel Forklift, he is slighlty smaller and not as powerful but useful all the same. But the irony of it - Bob asked how it was delivered and the guy said "on a pallet" which requires a bleeding forklift to get it off! So we need a forklift to get to our forklift. Tell me this isn't real life and it's all a dream and when we wake up you and me will be wealthy and have everything we want, like bread in the bread basket at breakfast and leo and windy waiting for us in the bedroom. xx

Re: Back on the Tube

From: but would prefer the Metro
Date: 10 Nov 2006
Time: 13:41:49 -0000
Remote Name: Justine
 

This time last week eh? Time for a livener now that's for sure TGI Friday and all that. Just had my the main boss of EBP in here having a lovely chat for over 30 minutes about where I live, E etc, most bizarre especially since he only came up to ask me to do the post for the EBP as the girl who normally does it is pregnant and feeling a bit off. Glad you are having a relaxing day, your  about Windy just reminded me of that League of Gentlemen sketch and Tommy Walsh, coming at you with those big thick fingers, thinking will this pleasure never end? xx

Re: Back on the Tube 

From: Metro Monkey Killer
Date: 10 Nov 2006
Time: 13:49:42 -0000
Remote Name: Lorne

Ah but Windy's fingers are slender fingers, not sausage fingers. I bet he could have been a pianist with fingers like that. I bet he's hard to buy gloves for.

I am getting through some Paris stuff now, just done Chez Ma Cousine and the bag that money can't buy, in between Windy's fingers and Manuel Forklift that is. I shall send you a link to a YouTube PB montage for you to watch with the sound off, you can see what all the fuss is about! xx

Definitely Time

From: For a livener
Date: 10 Nov 2006
Time: 15:13:34 -0000
Remote Name: Lorne

I do believe we were wandering through the streets of Paris this time last week, heading to the Tower and a date with a couple of glasses of white wine via a Tabac with a man determined to get you back on Red Marlboro. I can feel the air now. Instead here I sit in semi darkness with a bottle of water and square eyes.

I have nice picture for you see next time you post a message. xx

Not a moments peace

From: Miss Popularity
Date: 10 Nov 2006
Time: 15:14:43 -0000
Remote Name: Justine

Have had both my bosses in here today and then my mate Debbie who runs the mentoring and.... have just noticed Windy giving me a hard stare, what colour are his eyes? Anyway I have been very busy all of a sudden so i am writing my to do list as I am off at 4, like a greyhound out of thr traps, pick up Chelsea then E then get some coal in wellington and soem wine then down my mums, walk the dog, back home, strip the beds, light the fire and crack open the wine, hurrah!! xx

I am truly spoiled

From: A very lucky Magneto
Date: 10 Nov 2006
Time: 15:18:46 -0000
Remote Name: Lorne

I have spent a couple of hours trying to find a PB montage for you, haven't settled on one yet but looking is nice! Then Dawn comes in and asks me if I want a coffee. All very nice but throuoghly undeserved.

Windy's eyes are like mine, they change from green to blueish, depending on the light. I could look at them all day - and frequently do! xx

Re: I am truly spoiled

From: because you're worth it
Date: 10 Nov 2006
Time: 15:26:18 -0000
Remote Name: Justine

Just reading that and Peter came back and has gone to make me a cup of tea, if he can find my drinking bowl! I have run out of steam that's for sure. Trouble is now Peter's here I have to work and can't spend all my time chatting. Yes the light is fading, it is definitely time for wine xx

Publish

From: And Be Damned
Date: 10 Nov 2006
Time: 16:02:45 -0000
Remote Name: Lorne

The Paris stuff is on the web site now. I'm sure as I recall more I will add to it but it should keep us going for now! xx

Happy Mondays

From: Churchill
Date: 13 Nov 2006
Time: 09:49:49 -0000
Remote Name: Justine

Just been reading Paris 06, a work of genius, it is unbelievable the way you can get pictures of all the places we visit. Still needs a picture of your actual Dunnock sex though! Brilliant, as ever. The false nails have been preying on my mind, I feel underdressed without them. xx

It's like staying in a five star hotel

From: Because it is!!
Date: 13 Nov 2006
Time: 10:51:58 -0000
Remote Name: Lorne
 

All set for Italia over here. I have never stayed in a 5 star hotel before and I'm a bit nervous about my wardrobe, I don't think my two star ladies wardrobe will cut in the Excelsior Vittoria, Sorrento. I shall have to keep repeating Dan's mom's comment about how I make cheap clothes look expensive! What I do know is that I will be wearing trainers. Alot. And no skirts as my legs look terrible, like I've been tortured!

I am glad you liked the Paris stuff, I'm sure I will be adding to it as more comes back! I shall try and get a Dunnock sex picture for you to see how distasteful it all is...

I came in today all prepared for a proper day's work but now I've clocked that picture of Windy on the right I've gone all jelly like again, funny how you forget over the weekend! xx

Re: It's like staying in a five star hotel

From:
Date: 13 Nov 2006
Time: 11:52:07 -0000
Remote Name: Justine

Have you not heard of opaque tights woman? You look lovely in a skirt, you really ought to wear that frock to dinner and I thought you could wing it with 40 denier tights no problem, or possibly patterned ones, they cover a multitude of sins.

Right I shall retype my weekend : Friday, got drunk and stayed up until 1am, shockingly later for me must be the Paris effect. Saturday Connaire arrived was an absolute sweetheart, walked Chelsea then took her to the vets, went to get E a tracksuit, everything took hours as the retail park was rammed. Psyche collected C at half 6, so me and K went out at half 7 to get some dinner. Ironbridge rammed, ended up in Swan, took 20 minutes to get a table but well worth it as Jeremy Lloyd Evans, casual wear fashion icon, was at the bar. I strolled in all dressed up, big smile and wafted past to only avaialable seats, right behind him at the bar! JLC makes surprisingly sharp exit. Ordered food and sat there for an hour, I kid you not, putting drinks on tab until finally at 10pm give up and walk out without telling them, or indeed paying , though K being K he left a fiver on the table, which was not enough for the drinks and we almost went back to get it as by that point we were fairly pissed. Anyway we were meant to be meeting that Steve who had the restaurant in Cornwall who is now back in the area. We pitched up at the GB and it was dead. Sooty was there having disgraced himself earlier throwing fruit at the boyfriend of the barmaid he has the hots for. You could cut the atmosphere witha knife, I am well pickled by this time and ready to go home though not before receiving the juicy nugget that Penny ( I said double gin)' s ex was doing it Dunnock style with some new woman so Penny (i said double gin) was in tears in there earlier - that's what you get as youi see your last meal ticket drift out of sight I guess - meeow!!

Brilliant!

From: Gossip hungry
Date: 13 Nov 2006
Time: 12:01:58 -0000
Remote Name: Lorne

What a night! And you go on about me nicking stuff - not paying for a meal is stealing too you know...ah, how I love my metal coaster.

So, was he in there on his own? And now you know where to find him when you fancy doing some J bashing. I hope you were looking suitably gorgeous. And what a shame you weren't there to give Penny some 'comfort'! She'll just have to take it onthe chin - both of 'em!

My weekend was spent under the blanket with an appalling UTI - partly the old one not really being resolved and Paris being a little light on hydration. So I have been drinking lots of pints of water (as well as beer) and making sure I'm something like for Friday.

The running is going OK, a little bit hard but I think I'm running too fast, I'm unable to pace myself at the moment and running everywhere at 5k pace.

I know tights are always an an option but I want to wear my black shoes that you bought me and black tights won't work with them - plus I have scabs on both calves! I really do look like I've been in a fight. xx

I forgot the best bit!!

From: Tea Leaf
Date: 13 Nov 2006
Time: 12:21:11 -0000
Remote Name: Justine
I forgot to tell you some bloke walked in - the absolute spit of Rutger Hauer with the blonde hair and everything like in Blade Runner. Fair play to K he clocked him too and said look there's Rutger and you end up with John Hurt! Bless. I had my nice black dress on that I always feel good in, so yes I did look nice, better than Mrs JLC who whenever I have seen her looks like she gets her clothes at Wrekin Farmers. As for paying for the meal, if I had had it I would have payed for it, though to be fair think we will give the Swan the swerve for a few weeks! I have also had a lucky weekend as K bought me a new kettle (said my old one was dangerous) very nice polished steel and it lights up blue when it boils, he also bought me a seat cover and a takeaway curry (which came in handy Saturday night) then I went to walk the dog and found a pound on the floor and this morning Asda sent me 6 for the pain of finding a chicken rogan josh instead of a lamb rogan josh in the last take away curry we had, oh yes and E's handwriting pens etc came so she is well chuffed, and I bought her a beautiful dress out of Matalan which she agreed was her Xmas pressie from me so that'sthat sorted. How about boots with your dress? xx

Hmmm

From: there's a thought
Date: 13 Nov 2006
Time: 12:27:21 -0000
Remote Name: Lorne
I may be able to get away with taking the boots I wore to Karen's wedding...a brain wave! Thank you very much! I can also take them instead of my Boots That Want To See All Feet and Legs Die, although to be fair I wore them on Sunday and they were fine! Of course they were.

You sound like you're a very lucky person to be around at the moment, send some of it over here. I have been searching for a Dunnock photo but I can't bring myself to actually google Dunnock Sex! Gawd knows what would be brought up. I have been searching for the Fast Show sketch on the bridge on YouTube but so far no luck. There are loads of others though xx

A c word... 

From: that even I can't bring myself to say, that
Date: 13 Nov 2006
Time: 12:33:23 -0000
Remote Name: Lorne

Yes, it's thC word that I couldn't bring myslef to say at the Louvre! I tell thee, once you've seen it in action, jeez...and the Victorians used to think the Dunnock was the epitome of Victorian family values. Maybe it was, thinking about it!

Anyway, still no real work done here. Manuel Stacker has come and very impressive he is too. Dawn looks truly awful and I will have to send her home after lunch. Doug is not speaking to me for some reason but I did get some words out of Dave this morning. xx

Re: A c word...

From: and it's not chuff
Date: 13 Nov 2006
Time: 12:56:50 -0000
Remote Name: Justine

I was telling K about the language in paris, that's some fucked up shit hombre made him laugh out loud. Yes I am having a run of good luck so hopefully my job applications will turn up and I can get myself a permanent job. "So Miss Ranson, do you have any questions for us?" "Yes, on avareage how much e mailing do you reckon I will have time for ina day?" I read ana rticel yesterday about getting things doine, and it said the best way to increase productivity at work was to only go in for 4 hours a day, and actually do some work! xx

5 star hotels

From: bound to have a hair dryer - right?
Date: 13 Nov 2006
Time: 12:52:34 -0000
Remote Name: Lorne

As the real-life Crystal Tipps I need reassurance that this 5 star hotel

(oh my God you should see the restaurant! Too good for likes of me this), check it out at

http://www.exvitt.it/restaurant.html#anchor

will have a hair dryer. If our hotel in Paris had one surely I can free up some suitcase room by leaving mine behind...xx

Bon vivant

From: more like Bon Jovi
Date: 13 Nov 2006
Time: 13:01:32 -0000
Remote Name: Justine

Dancing to the sound of romantic melodies - now that I would pay good money for. Lovely place, is it inclusive or are you taking out a second mortgage? it sounds superb, but I know what you mean about behaving, I was intimidated at Hawkstone, anywhere that hands you a bread roll with tongs! I am sure they will have a hairdryer, and at those prices they will buy you one if you ask. Make sure and steal me some toiletries xx

Re: Bon vivant

From: More like Bon Kers
Date: 13 Nov 2006
Time: 13:17:43 -0000
Remote Name: Lorne

I am grateful that it's a posh Italian speaking place and not an English one lest the table have a tealight on it that I pass my hand over! I will hate it but Dan will lap it up in there.

So were you complaining to Kev about my language? I will be trying to rein it in as a new year resolution but it will far harder than giving up smoking. xx

Re: Bon vivant 

From: Ali Bongo
Date: 13 Nov 2006
Time: 13:26:47 -0000
Remote Name: Justine

Not complaining about the language, just how easy it is to swear when no one can really understand you and explaining about the inappropriate swearing response to everyday situations. I did mention my language was as bad as yours, luckily having a small child you do learn to rein it in fairly quickly. I am surprised Dan likes all that posh stuff, I don't even like them asking me if everything is OK when i am eating. Hope it is warm enough to sit in that outside place and watch the lights twinkling across the bay xx

 

Posh Hotels

From: Dan swears by 'em!
Date: 13 Nov 2006
Time: 13:37:21 -0000
Remote Name: Lorne
He loves all the posh places, Dan. He really likes the kind of restaurants that spoil you and treat you like you're special. I hate eating out at all so it's hell for me. If it was up to me they would shove the food down and f**k off and I would go and pay a cashier on my out. It was bad enough in Sicily with the big silver domes bringing the food and the fuss and the maitre'd explaining your meal to you as you are about to chow down. Then there's the mini courses you're not expecting - like sorbet or even hot towels. All of them make me so uncomfortable. Still, I will only be able to go once I reckon, I bet it's bleedin' expensive. And it's only B&B rates! xx

And another thing...

From: there's never enough to drink
Date: 13 Nov 2006
Time: 13:40:37 -0000
Remote Name: Lorne

And the wine is never enough, not at the rate I chug it down anyway. And the bill never comes when you want it. And the one thing you really fancy (or only thing you can stomach) on the menu is the hardest thing to pronounce. That's what is good about Chez Ma Cousine, it's fast! In, out, put the kettle on. You can't beat that. xx

Re: And another thing...

From: we agree on
Date: 13 Nov 2006
Time: 14:17:33 -0000
Remote Name: Justine
Sorry about that Magneto, actually doing some work for a change. I know what you mean about the booze in a posh place, like in Ma Cousine when they laugh if you ask for a second bottle, and I had forgot the hot towels at Le Fumoir, surely for after not before, and hot towels yet no bread plate, crazy foreigners. Couple of liveners in your room before dinner would seem to be the way to go, and a table in the corner with candlelight only xx

Analyse this

From: Dr Freud
Date: 13 Nov 2006
Time: 14:22:59 -0000
Remote Name: Justine
I'll tell you what K is quite astute, I said I was catching up with you about my weekend and he said, "I bet you mentioned the ex, never seen a bloke move so fast! " and he also said "I bet you mentioned Penny's plight as well" This is not a good sign, either that or he is reading the forum, though to be fair I would think he would tell me if he was. I am in need of a cuppa, splashed out on some of those extra strength Tetleys for home, though not given them a whirl laltely. Wonder what happened to the Tetley tea folk? xx

They were gay

From: those Tetley Tea Folk
Date: 13 Nov 2006
Time: 14:27:14 -0000
Remote Name: Lorne
I suspect they are doing the Northern Club Circuit along with Pinky and Perky.

How could Kev find the forum? Have you given him the address?

I think it is quite easy to predict what you and I will be catching up about, you weren't NOT going to mention Jay or Penny, it's top quality gossip! xx

Re: They were gay

From: Hey Big Bender
Date: 13 Nov 2006
Time: 16:08:50 -0000
Remote Name: Justine

They were all shacked up in a modern day Soddom under the guise of a twee English village, I remember it well.

K does not have the forum address as such but he has the website one so could potentially access it, but then he does not even like intruding on our conversation in the pub so doubt he would.

Why don't you do your mum's shopping on line? Get it delivered. i hear they have lost of stuff for a pound at Iceland!!! xx

Liveners

From: More than likely
Date: 13 Nov 2006
Time: 14:31:33 -0000
Remote Name: Lorne

I should imagine the whole trip will be one long livener! As soon as I have dumped the car in the hotel on Thursday afternoon I shall be in the bar having an overpriced white wine.

That email you just sent made me gasp and laugh at the same time. Very funny but guiltily so! x

Hive of activity

From: busy little bee
Date: 13 Nov 2006
Time: 15:00:57 -0000
Remote Name: Lorne

I am actually doing some actual work! Although I have had recourse to ask Mom a few questions about amounts in and out of the bank to be told that she "has the bab" so can't help. I wasn't best pleased to be asked to do my mom's shopping tomorrow morning for the same reason, so I have to take time off work (OK, time off searching for last night's epi of PB on YouTube) so that my sister can go to work and leave her daughter with my mom? There are those that would say I was being mean to grumble...

Oh, and just to add some more crap into into it all, the blessing ,ay be a Chrisitening after all now...Mark just can't decide - needs a kick up his arse that lad. xx

Re: Hive of activity

From: More Bewise than beehive
Date: 13 Nov 2006
Time: 16:12:33 -0000
Remote Name: Justine

Well if they have waited a year and still not decided whether they are heathens or not I wouldn't hold out too much hope. Aeryn wilk be old enough to make her own mind up before they do. it's a bit like breastfeeding, you want to get it sorted before they start unbuttoning your blouse themselves, in other words while the vicar still stands a chance of holding them over the font!

By the way the forum just told me it was busy and to try again later! I think it is getting clogged again with the cholesterol of chat xx

Re: The Last Post

From: Webmaster
Date: 14 Nov 2006
Time: 12:43:42 -0000
Remote Name: Lorne

I am not up to speed (literally) with how the forum is performing today. As usual, Tuesday has been spent looking at yesterday night's recap of PB from the US and it's so exciting I am downloading the ep so my computer is so slow again. It's all kicking off anyway, T-Bag has had to cut his re-attached hand back off to escape the cops, Sara was going back to Michael but got kidnapped (serves her right, how could you leave Windy in a motel room?) and is being tortured by having her head immersed in a bath of water and an electric iron thrown in, Michael has a gun pointing at him by some bandit gringos...it's all go and all this on at 8pm at night over there.

I will put all the images and the messages from past month back on this site. xx

Thats some f*cked up sh*t hombre!

From: Churchill
Date: 14 Nov 2006
Time: 13:02:15 -0000
Remote Name: Justine

Cutting off his re-attached hand, sounds hilarious, believable plots then? I am still looking for a coat on e bay, need to go shopping reckon it would not cost much more, but when will I get time? I really should crack on with these applications, maywell send you my covering letter for an opinion, if I manage to bash one out today. Nice and quiet in the office at least. Need some tea to get the old brain cells going, pretty nippy in here today xx

Re: Thats some f*cked up sh*t hombre!

From: PB Addict
Date: 14 Nov 2006
Time: 13:58:15 -0000
Remote Name: Lorne

It sure is some f**ed up s**t hombre and very entertaining it is too. T-Bag is the villain you love to hate who reckoned he could handcuff himself to Windy (as would many a woman given half a chance) so that he wouldn't get killed during the escape by the mob boss but the mob boss just cut his hand off instead with an axe. He manages to get a cooler box full of ice and finds a vet who he threatens to kill unless he reattaches it for him. Once that is done he kills the vet and eventually ends up being cable tied by his bad hand to a radiator by some prison warders who leave him there and call the cops. He then chops his hand back off and leaves it by the radiator!! I am watching the epi now, and Windy is looking v handsome.

Email me your letter when you get then chance xx

Re: Back to the kennel

From: Mrs Michael Scofield
Date: 14 Nov 2006
Time: 16:24:13 -0000
Remote Name: Lorne
I am here until I have had my fill of Windy in all the episodes I have downloaded today! Deary me, the man is getting more gorgeous by the episode, Dan will be getting his own tea tonight! See you in the morning - I may still be here. xx

Re: Back to the kennel

From: Kennel cough
Date: 14 Nov 2006
Time: 16:26:32 -0000
Remote Name: Justine
I really have to borrow a dvd of PB, see what all the fuss is about, or do you think Windy Fever is contagious? xx

Re: Back to the kennel

From: fox river addict
Date: 14 Nov 2006
Time: 16:32:13 -0000
Remote Name: Lorne
I just think it's me, you go for 20 years without a crush on someone and then it all happens at once! xx

 

Re: Lack of confidence

From: It's all in the mind
Date: 15 Nov 2006
Time: 13:01:42 -0000
Remote Name: Justine
Lack of confidence is a tough one to reassure or convince otherwise on so all I will say is that you always look very elegant, your Gharani Strok coat is gorgeous and you look great in your narrow leg black trousers, as you do in all your trousers. If you stick to monochrome you can't go far wrong anyway and I am sure there is plenty of that in your wardrobe (as ther is in mine) plus you have your lovely jewellery to set it all off never mind the rhinoplasty bag!! However you may feel inside it is not how you come across on the outside. Anyway my dad said if he was in a psoh restaurant he would deliberately dress down and they would always serve him first as they assumed he had enough money not to make the effort! xx

Mind over matter

From: miserable old s**t bag
Date: 15 Nov 2006
Time: 13:39:58 -0000
Remote Name: Lorne
Thank you for your kind words, I shall try and keep them in mind as I go forth into a holiday devoid of complements!

I am having a mare here as well, Dawn is off and it's all haywire. Trying to get the accounts done before I go away but it's getting less likely as every hour passes - serves me right for wasting away my days enjoying myself last week! x

Gather ye rosebuds

From: Churchill
Date: 15 Nov 2006
Time: 14:02:27 -0000
Remote Name: Justine
It was a top week last week though last week, helped the post Paris slump no end. This week I now have you going away and unhappy, K has finally succumbed to some terrible illness and is off work and I am back on the job market. Best just to enjoy it while you can eh? So how are you going to cope with Windy withdrawal? xx

Re: Gather ye rosebuds

From: Optimistic pessimist
Date: 15 Nov 2006
Time: 14:07:42 -0000
Remote Name: Lorne

I don't know how I will be able to cope with Windy withdrawal, I may tell Dan I've gone off him and he may panic and buy me any magazine with mention of him in case I lose all interest in sex again! A cunning plan.

I am just enjoying the view of our forum heroes now before we go, although there is a great still of Windy on the prison break website from Monday's episode but I can't save it as its on a slideshow. Has Kev got the flu like Dawn now? x

What an image

From: thet conjours up
Date: 15 Nov 2006
Time: 14:18:28 -0000
Remote Name: Lorne

Yakking up on the M6 Toll hard shoulder! Our men lead a glamourous existence! Dan is probably stuffing himself with a death dealing lunch. Where are Leo and Windy when you need them? Actaully, after watching a dreadful film on Monday night in which Windy voices a computerised plane I did think how great it would be to have his wonderful voice on a sat nav - "prepare to turn left onto my drive". I'd use it even to get back home from work. It would be heavenly, I could have Windy and you could have- which one? I suspect Ginola?

Re: What an image

From: Churchill
Date: 15 Nov 2006
Time: 14:25:32 -0000
Remote Name: Justine

I'd keep crashing if I had Ginola talking me in! But your right you can't beat a bit of the old French accent to send me weak at the knees. Just been looking at some pics of the lovely David as it happens, but my roomie is back now so best crack on xx

Hello Windy my darling... 

From: how i've missed that smile.
Date: 22 Nov 2006
Time: 10:34:42 -0000
Remote Name: Lorne

It's good to be back and I shall be on the forum again shortly after I have sorted out all the problems I have encountered in the last 24 hours (punctures and chipped and cracked windscreens...) and I will be available for gossip and fashion advice for medieval banquets. xx

Re: Hello Windy my darling...

From: and your mate's not bad either
Date: 22 Nov 2006
Time: 10:54:43 -0000
Remote Name: Justine

Sounds like your standard Griffin fare, no joy without the requisite balancing dose of misery! I am favouring a wimple and one of those big pointy hats with a veil hangin off the end for the do. I will send you a picture of the brochure for the event to give you a taste of what we are in for xx

Cracking up

From: Chpi off the old block
Date: 22 Nov 2006
Time: 13:01:14 -0000
Remote Name: Lorne

It's the Merc Saloon. It's both chipped and cracked. I have had chips in the Rav, the Jeep and a crack all across the screen in the Mazda. And still I get lectured about how to go about getting them repaired! Talk about coals to Newcastle. I just reckon this one (that occured going down to Gatwick) is too bad to be repaired even though it's small. But they won't come out with a new screen if you say it's less than a 10p piece in size. By the time they come (next Monday) I reckon it will have spread anyway.

The tyre saga is exactly that, a saga. Going down to Gatwick I was aware that they were in need of air so when I got back I made a mental note to look at them to see if they were even lower after a few days parked up. So I did exactly that and they looked the same as when I had left it. So off I drove to the pay point to get a valid exit ticket and the car felt dreadful. When I got out the offside rear was as flat as your hat. I called the AA because they are a pain in the arese when they have locking wheel nuts and been tightened up with air tools (Dan offered but I knew it would result in a row) so he came and quickly changed the wheel but I had only got a small spare (the ones that go only 50mph) so I had to go and find the local tyre dealer to Gatwick and get a new tyre on the Alloy. Because the tyre was low on tread I may as well have a new one on instead of a repair and then today I have had the other side done. Anyway, what annoys me most was that it was an allen key that had been left under the back wheel deliberately to puncture it as I drove off. xx

That is some f*cked up shit..

From: hombre!
Date: 22 Nov 2006
Time: 13:23:09 -0000
Remote Name: Justine

What is it with that car that incites such envy? Shame you were not in the underground parking at Waterloo. I hate that kind of aggro and vandalism, thus making an expensive holiday even more expensive. Roll on Christmas eh? I am trying to find a nice Vija Celmins poster, 120 is the best yet - for a freakin poster! xx

Re: That is some f*cked up shit..

From: uomo
Date: 22 Nov 2006
Time: 13:37:25 -0000
Remote Name: Lorne
I don't know what it is with me but hassle often follows me around for several days on the bounce. I still managed to get Dan back in time to go to the GP's for the Champion's League match, a lot of good that will do me in the long run. I said to Dan while we were away that I wish I was going out with me! x

Anything you want for christmas?

From: Or shall we not bother?
Date: 23 Nov 2006
Time: 10:52:13 -0000
Remote Name: Lorne

I have been asked loads of times by Dan for something I want for Christmas and so far my requests for a signed Windy photo to put over the bed and a Windy Calendar (for he has one out apparently) haven't been met with much enthusiam and I think that there really is nothing I want that I wouldn't prefer to just go out and buy if I or when I need it. So, I was thinking, should we just dispense with all the Christmas consumersim and just sent the most outrageous card instead (Santy and the hearth and the soot come to mind?) This solves many problems does it not? And I will get E whatever she needs or wants as usual. Unl;ess there is something you need or want? xx

Big Pink Sausage Nightie

From: That's what you need
Date: 23 Nov 2006
Time: 11:41:59 -0000
Remote Name: Lorne

Do you remember your big pink sausage nightie? You need something along the nightie lines for this medieval job I reckon. And pointed slippers.

I shall get Eleanor some riding lessons, unless they have a special bus you can take around the safari park then that's a no go! I have spent too much on the car lately to have no monkey snapping off my aerial!

What are your plans for Saturday day? If you need someone to accompany you on a last minute shopping trip the I am free and willing xx

Re: Big Pink Sausage Nightie

From: a classic
Date: 23 Nov 2006
Time: 12:20:34 -0000
Remote Name: Justine
Ahh yes the big pink sausage, whatever happened to that? I have just bought a dress, exactly what I want, on e bay, hopefully will be here saturday, otherwise a mad tear round debenhams saturday morning may be in order. I need to go to the post office and post a parcel, by way of somerfield and some dog food, back in 30 mins or so xx

A Knight's Tale

From: Maid Marion
Date: 27 Nov 2006
Time: 11:31:36 -0000
Remote Name: Justine

Well let me start by saying we had a really good time on Saturday, Warwick is a lovely place and the castle is stunning, though it was a bit too Disney for K's taste. Anyway we arrived about half five, checked in and went out for a drink as we were not meeting until 7ish. Was not a bar as such in the hotel, more a cafe at the front so decided to have a wander. Could not find a pub the length of the High Street but as we walked into the centre found a very nice wine bar, had one then back to the hotel to get ready. Met up at 7 downstairs, first couple were South African, both tiny and quite shy, second couple was the boss and his wife, bit flashy but very nice. Had two drinks then made our way to the castle, the SA couple had been there since 3 and out drinking so Mrs SA slightly tiddly and fell over on way to castle. Fantastic when you walk in, all lighted by torches, everyone but us dressed up, far too many men in tights for my liking. Led in and shown round the waxworks and then into a fab dining hall, vaulted ceilings, candle light, long wooden tables, flagons of ale and wine (only the red worth drinking) then a great 5 course meal with singing and stories between courses. K sat opposite me next to sailor from the Gulf War and his crew, got a bit heated for a while. K being usual diplomatic self, I was chatting to Mrs SA about life in south africa, got pretty mashed and were turfed out about half 10. Meet sailors outside who are trying to get us to go for a drink with them, we say we will meet them in town and Captain Birdseye gives me such a hard pat on the back I almost cough a lung up, count blessings K did not get into fight with him. Back to hotel and a bottle of champagne then asked to leave there so went to club in centre and started drinking tequila slammers, by which point I am well toasted byt compos mentis (years of training) Mrs SA is at this point falling off her chair so we start giving her water, other wife has stopped drinking, blokes at other side of bar so we keep getting blokes coming over to talk to us, one of whom was greated with the loud remark "You look like that Jon Bon Jovi only shorter!" Funnily enough not many blokes hang around, though a very nice gay couple have a laugh with us. There is also a bloke in there the spitting image of Steve McQueen. Stagger back to the hotel around 2am dragging Mrs SA, fall onto bed, room is boiling so we prop the very old sash window open with a handy copy of the Gideon Bible. Get into bed and a ruck starts out in the street so K leans out of window and sees 2 blokes kicking another one so up he gets and runs outside (obviously drunk!!) breaks it up (!) and comes back to bed, meanwhile I am hanging out of the window saying "Shall I call the Police?" and knock the Gideon Bible into the street! Finally get to sleep to be woken by church bells and jackhammer sin the street below. Crashing hangover but make it to breakfast then go for a lovely walk round Warwick to sober up, come back to hotel to check out and spy the Gidoen Bible on the reception counter. K worried they will take us for devil worshippers. Best Xmas party I have ever been to. xx

A Grand Knight Out

From: Sheriff of Nottingham
Date: 27 Nov 2006
Time: 11:59:12 -0000
Remote Name: Lorne

It certainly seems like a good night was had by nearly all, unless you were hit by a flying bible in the early hours of Sunday morning. I had a very nice Chinese meal with Maggie in Shifnal, we are hatching a plan to go to the US for a short break, I'd like Chicago...she says wistfully. I didn't have much wine but it was enough for us to get into the nitty gritty of things, such as how on earth did Sarah ever get her mind right to shag Adrian. I love Maggie when she's loosened up a bit, it all starts to come out!

Apart from that my weekend was quiet, spent cleaning mainly. I was running when you came over Sunday because I didn't want to leave Chelsea on her own to go for a run in the morning because of the crying she was doing. So I waited for Dan to come back before going out and my God it was hard going! It's much better first thing in the morning when you're not awake to the pain! Speaking of pain, Dan had almost a complete day on the piss on Saturday so he was in bed early Sunday night whilst I indulged myself with Bad Santa on Sky Movies, a film that always fills me with Christmas spirit - vodka. xx

Argh!

From: How can I cope?
Date: 28 Nov 2006
Time: 11:40:30 -0000
Remote Name: Lorne

Another two months with all these questions that need answering:

Will Windy and his brother team up with evil, biggest-body-count-of-anyone-in-the-show Kellerman?

Will T-bag get his own back on Mrs Hollander?

Will Sara ever ger back to Windy? Will he pick up her voice mail?

Will Lincoln see LJ again (and does anyone care? really? he's a whingeing teen)

Will Sucre meet Maricruz and live happily ever after?

Will Haywire build his boat and get to Holland?

Will C-note's wife dob him in?

How will Bellick get on now he's in a cell with Avocado (he'll be going 'brokeback' against his will, that's for sure)

Is Mahone dead? Nah mate, nah

Will I go mad? Am I one of many who are attempting to download the episode now? In the words of Churchill, on yes.

Anyway, in order to help me over the coming two months I have booked me and Dan into The Marriott Marquis, Times Square (careful of those bathroom doors) New York on 5th March - a Monday night which just happens to be PB night...no, surely even I wouldn't go that far? No, it's to avoid the weekend supplements. Honest. xx

Re: Argh!

From: Magneto's mate
Date: 28 Nov 2006
Time: 11:47:30 -0000
Remote Name: Justine

Yeah yeah, I believe you, first night in the Big Apple glued to the telly.I tell you what it takes me back to what you were saying the other day, I wish I was going out with you! How is that going to fit into the Reading traning? Running round Central Park I presume. Busy day today, for a change, my long awaited period has started which is both a relief, as it always is, and a curse in that it is as friggin painful as ever, plus my clumsiness is off the scale, I stalled the car 3 times this morning which is most unlike me. I have also got the right hump as the people in the Training Room have been coming downstairs and making drinks in the kitchen and have used all the milk despite having a fancy coffee machione in the Training Room so now I have to go out and get milk, really racks me off. And I still have a job application to do. xx

Training in the Big Magneto

From: Magneto
Date: 28 Nov 2006
Time: 12:00:43 -0000
Remote Name: Lorne

I shall make use of the gym I think, I haven't done any treadmill running for ages and as they have tv's in there I could make it for about 8 o'clock on the Monday night...seriously though, it may not be such abig deal to miss the weekly runs as at that time of training it's the long runs that matter at the weekend. I am following my training plan now and on a very modest 30 mins without any twinges (except for my lungs!).

So any more news of the boyfriend?

I have PMT building up here, I can feel it! Dan is treating me like I have it too! x

Growl

From: Weak at the knees
Date: 28 Nov 2006
Time: 14:59:09 -0000
Remote Name: Lorne
Remember that Roy Orbison growl from mean woman blues? Well there's some of that going on here watching my PB video, Windy is all chained up in the back of a police van looking gorgeous despite 9 days on the run. And there was me thinking he couldn't look any better than last week...

Anyway, concentrate woman! I tell you what ear plugs look like...take a fag and pull off the filter, take the paper off it and voila! You have an ear plug.

Regarding the riding, I shall sort the lessons out nearer January and make up some sort of voucher to give her to open on the Big Day! x

Re: Sick as a dog

From: Tony Soprano
Date: 29 Nov 2006
Time: 10:27:41 -0000
Remote Name: Lorne
I have just had a Tony Soprano moment after getting so wound up by O2 I repeatedly smashed the receiver down on top of the phone. PMT? Moi? That's only the second time I have ever done that.

I have read your letter and just a couple of grammar errors (do a spell and grammar check and they will be highlighted and the suggestions to change them are basic ones) and you missed a "be" out of the line "I have also worked in the private sector and feel I would BE able to maintain current volunteers". It sounds good, although I may consider putting Fiona's last name in. You feeling any better hon? If not, type the letter that you would REALLY like to send and email it over, that will make you feel better! xx

Re: Sick as a dog

From: mad dog
Date: 29 Nov 2006
Time: 10:56:37 -0000
Remote Name: Justine
I was telling K the other day about when I was on the pill and to relieve the tension would go in the kitchen and smash plates on the floor. Roll on the menopause eh? Dare I ask what O2 have done to incure your wrath? I am glad to have the letter sorted, it will quite franklly have to do. Now I shall write another one saying what i really think - all this effort and I still might not get it! xx

Suddenly Est's Mom

From: has popped into my head...
Date: 29 Nov 2006
Time: 10:41:44 -0000
Remote Name: Lorne
I am just postponing doing any actual work by collating all the November forum messages and suddenly Esther's mom's saying " never let opportunities like sunbeams pass you by, for you never miss the water nutil the well runs dry" ! Great saying but why on earth I have suddenly thought of it is a mystery. Maybe it's my subconscious telling me to tell you to make sure you apply for that job! xx

Tense, nervous

From: all the time, mate
Date: 29 Nov 2006
Time: 11:11:24 -0000
Remote Name:Lorne

Just because my TV viewing doesn't focus enough on the tense and cliff hanging type of series, Dan bought home a 24 DVD on Monday night that we started to watch and I started to wind him up by asking all the stupid "how many episodes are there?" ect. type of questions and continually asking when Windy was going to appear. When he finally had enough and said "he's not in ANY of them!" I threw the DVD box across the room in mock disappointment. He then revealed that he hadnt bought the DVD but borrowed it from his mate Warren. I sat and looked at the box for a while and then indignantly said "just give me one good reason why I CAN'T destroy this Warren's property?". It was then Dan asked if I had PMT! Some women may take offence at this but...xx

Bad for your Stealth

 

From: Barry Norman he aint
Date: 29 Nov 2006
Time: 14:00:56 -0000
Remote Name: Lorne
Do you remember when I was going on about that awful film with the computerised plane voiced by Windy? The only good thing to come out of those two hours was to envisage a satellite navigation system voiced by Windy? Well, Bob was just saying how the worst film he's seen in ages was Assault on Precinct 13. The conversation went something like this...

LG: That's not a good film but it's better than Stealth, watch out for that turkey, it's doing the rounds on Sky Movies at the moment

RC: Stealth?

LG: Yes, it's got that Jamie Foxx in it, he won the oscar for Ray. He must have begged his agent to get him out of the film but the best he could manage was to get him killed off in the first hour.

RC: Ray?

LG: Yes, you know the film about Ray, oh god, I can't think of his surname!

RC: He was in Back to Future wasn't he?

LG: No! That was Michael J Fox...I don't know if I can have another conversation like this wth you. You remember Ray...the blind singer, God! Whats his surname?

RC: Fox, you've just said it

LG: No, not the actor the singer

RC: Do you mean Ray Charles? [Thank God he didn't say Stevie Wonder]

LG: Yes, that's it. Charles.

RC: So the guy in Back to the Future played Ray?

LG: God no! They didn't have him black up for the role! This isn't Trading Places when they are all infancy dress on the train!

RC: That was on Film 4 last night, now that always raises a laugh...

xx